You have to watch this!

This is so exciting I could cry. Jessica has autism. She has a blood flow problem in her brain. If we could have surgery that could increase the blood flow and restore the brain tissue...Oh my goodness!!!! This would be AMAZING!!!!

Brain bypass surgery may help restore lost brain tissue

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health/20110415/brain-tissue-bypass-110415/

what if it's not autism?

treating it

diet

diet

diet helpped Jessica but didn't cure her. I would try it.

Controversial Autism Doctor Stands By His Research

Jessica has taught me to live my life

I believe there is a link!

iHelp for Autism

A reader sent me this
http://www.sfweekly.com/2010-08-11/news/ihelp-for-autism/

We want to get Jessica an IPad and see if it doesn't unlock her world.

I've always loved this

God Chooses Mom for Disabled Child

Written by Erma Bombeck

Published in the Today Newspaper Sept. 4th, 1993



Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.



Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.



"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.



"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.



"Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.



“Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."



The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."



"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."



"But has she patience?" asks the angel.



"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy."



"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."



God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”



The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"



God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see---ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."



"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.



God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

For Autistic Boy, Opera Is Dream Come True - Boston News Story - WCVB Boston

For Autistic Boy, Opera Is Dream Come True - Boston News Story - WCVB Boston

Autism test?

Researchers one step closer to potential autism test

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/02/researchers-one-step-closer-to-potential-autism-test/?hpt=C2

insomnia

Get some sleep: Light – or lack of it – is key
I just read this on CNN "Get some sleep: Light – or lack of it – is key". Jessic's sleep rhythm is way off right now. She wants to take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon, and stay up until 1 or 2 pm. It's killing Juergen and I. We have to get up with the other kids at 6:30am. I am an old women, and 5 1/2 hours just isn't cutting it. I feel like a zombie! So now I need to work on controlling her light!

Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation

repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), creates an electric current that enhances specific cells’ ability to protect the brain from sensory overload in one region of the brain". The researchers believe this eases sensory overload permitting greater focus on learning.

Treatment for Coma Patients,Parkinsons,Alzheimers,MS,Autism - Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkkPnXpNMC8

his brother's keeper

I have people who also ask me what will happen to Jessica when we die or can not care for her any more. I can tell you I just don't know. I know that Nicole has said she will care for Jessica, but who knows if that will be realistic? She will have her own life, her own family. It isn't something I just put off thinking about, but I have no answer. I'm not there and I can not say how things should work out in 20 years. I'm glad we have 4 other children. I hope Jessica will never need to live in an institution. But if that must happen, God will be with her. I will love her and take care of her as long as I am able to. I have not given up hope of a cure. But if Jessica has to live in a care facility, it will not be an easy thing to plan. I'm not there, and I'm not going to stress out worrying about what I can not control. I will simply love my girl where she is at. She is at home. Thank God for now she is home!

growing up with a brother with autism

another sleepless night

Jessica didn't sleep all day after a night with only 3 hours of sleep. Last night I got her to sleep at 11pm, but she woke up at 4am. She was in my room and I locked the door and tried to keep sleeping. I'm a wreak. She kept bringing me cloths. My room is a mess. I kept telling her to lay down and sleep. She was up and down, back and forth. For hours she walked from my bed to the door and back. I pulled the cover over my head...I could not change Jessica but I needed sleep. I have 4 other kids to take care of. Juergen is in India until tomorrow and school doesn't begin until Monday. When I finally got up at 7:30am Jess had pulled her diaper off and pee was on the floor. She had also gotten so upset, her nose bleed. I have to mop the floor, and do laundry because she bleed on my cloths. She took the key out of the door, and we were locked in the room. I could not find the key! Here I was, sleepy me with Jessica covered in blood and urine. What a sight. But I didn't panic. I called down to Nicole. She found an extra key and unlocked the door. I cleaned Jess up. I'm not allowing her to watch any TV until she sleeps. I also have a sun lamp, a full spectrum light I will put in her room. I took her out hours yesterday...but it's so rainy and dark. Her internal clock is obviously messed up. The light will help. The routine of school will also help. She was suppose to go shopping with her dear teacher tomorrow. I'm thinking that's not a good idea. Maybe if she thinks about school, she will grab her shoes and sit on the stairs all weekend. She wants to go back to school, but she can not manage the excitement. She just doesn't seem to understand tomorrow is not 5 mins from now. And the problem seems to be getting worse because she is not sleeping. I could use some prayer. This sort of thing has happened before, but Thank God not in awhile. I remember once I took Nicole to London for a long weekend (4 days). Juergen, Jessica and Philip all had a bad flu. We didn’t have Thomas and Sarah then. Jessica had to throw up. And when she throws up she doesn’t find a bucket…she just does it where ever she is. So poor Juergen had to follow Jess around the house cleaning up after her. We also just got Mickey our crazy dog. And he barks at strangers. Juergen’s good friend Ralf was there. Mickey barked and barked. Jess was throwing up, Juergen felt awful. Nicole and I had an awesome time. I guess if you're thinking Juergen owes me for this week…I owe him too. I’m not crazy or even too upset. I’m tired. I am pretty sure this will pass, but I could use some prayer. Jess just needs to get some sleep! I miss Juergen. I know I need him…but I also just like him allot. We are all so glad he will be home soon.

Jessica is 19 years old today

Jessica is 19 years old today. She was the most beautiful baby. She was smart and perfect. When she was 18 months old she lost her coordination, and her language. It was devastating. We spent years going from one Dr to another. No one could tells what had happened. How could a " normal" child lose her skills? It took 6 years to finally hear the words autism. And all our hopes, and dreams were destroyed. If it's true that God holds our tears in a cup of remembrance, he holds an ocean of tears for me. The loss was awful. Sometimes it still is. Last night Jess was so excited about her birthday, she could not sleep. She stayed awake until 3:30am, and woke again at 6am. I'm finding it hard to function on 3 hours of sleep. But I want to say this...
When Jess lost her voice, and we felt the loss of all "normal" hopes and dreams it was hard. I sat for years in a pile of broken dreams. The edges were sharp, and it cut deep to the heart. But after awhile you stop crying over what you had hoped would be. You start appreciating the pieces of what is there. Jessica's life is like a mosaic. She has soulful eyes, deep compassion, a large ability to understand character, humor, and sweetness. She is a broken person. Autism has broken her. It's robbed her of her voice. We only get to read glimpses of the complex thoughts she thinks. Often we are shut out all together. But she is lovely...all the pieces put together are lovely. In the book of 1 Corinthians 13 (talking about knowing God) it say “12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” What I see of my daughter is so beautiful, and I know I will be unable to speak one day because one day I will see her whole. This is my hope. Happy birthday my beautiful girl. I love you so much!