Driving Jessica's Taxi: Autism day

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Autism day

Every day is autism day for us. I forgot that today was International autism day. I wish there was no need for such a day. I wish the kids were all healthy. But today I kissed my girl, and I loved her just as much as I always do. She reminds me life is a gift. Her smile is a gift. Her laugh is a gift. I may never have a conversation with Jessica this side of heaven, but I'm willing to wait. I can not imagine any sound in heaven being half as sweet as the voices of the children who spent their days in silence. It will be a time for me to be silent...I wouldn't want to miss a single word.

1 comment:

Ellie said...: Oh, Amy, this made me tear up! I couldn't agree more! I have a brother with severe CP who is non-verbal. Cannot wait for the day I see him singing and dancing in Heaven!

I found your blog because I first found your adoption blog (we have an adopted child from Thailand, and another on the way).

Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts on Autism. I am thoroughly enjoying reading!; 2:59 PM

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pot holes and pits

There are pot holes and there are pits. To this point I had never really fallen into a pit. I had no idea how to handle what was happening, no idea at all. When you run over a pot hole, it shakes you up a little. Some times the pot hole is so large, it can even cause some car damage. That would require a day or so in the shop. But a pit is different. You fall into a dark hole, and when you get up to inspect for damage, you often fall off the ledge even further down. If fact one of the scariest parts about falling into a pit is being in the dark, and never knowing when and if you have really hit the bottom. When Jessica was 18 months old she had 5 immunization shots in one day. I remember asking the nurse if it was a problem that Jessica was sick, and taking antibiotics for an ear infection. I should have used my best instincts and said "no" not today. But they were the medical professionals. I was just a first time mom. What could go wrong? But with in 4 days things went terribly wrong. It has be wrong for 19 years now. Jessica lost her voice. I thought we would just spend some time in the shop, get the car repaired and be back on our way. Instead of getting on the road, I have had the challenge of learning to live my life inside this hole...and I know now I may never be allowed to recover from that fall.