Monday, June 21, 2010

Neurofeedback for Autism and Asperger's

We are thinking of buying a neurofeedback machine and learning to use it with Jessica for her autism, and Philip and Thomas for ADHD. We tried it once. It's pretty cool. We can not find someone close to do it. Also our insurance will not cover it. We know an audiologist in Munchen that will work with us. We buy the machine (maybe even used), and sell it used to another family when we are done. For autism it can take years. For ADHD it takes about 6-9 months. Many kids with ADHD go off medication, and stay off it.

Saturday, June 19, 2010


A friend sent me something about the ipad being a great tool for autistic kids. Jessica can write, but she doesn't do it much. The ipad has an application that generates voice. I'm not sure if we can get Jessica to work with it. I also wonder if they have this software in German? We live in Germany and most everyone we know speaks German. Jessica understands English and German. I imagine she could write in English, but German is the language she mostly writes in. The video is of an autistic girl that began to write, and it changed her whole life. We have not been able to get Jess to write at home. She does write with a few teachers, not just one. I'm anxious to try the ipad with her. Perhaps it could help unlock the treasure that is Jessica!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Just keep moving…do not park the car here…just keep moving!

A good friend has a daughter that was an exchange student in America. She just returned 2 days ago. I spoke with her yesterday. She speaks perfect English now. She even got her high school diploma this year. She is so confident and graceful. All grown up. I was so happy to see her. But Jessica who is a year older then Maria was waiting in the car. Jess can not talk, she still wears a diaper, and she can not cross the street safely alone, let alone go to another country for a year. I wasn’t so much jealous as I was hit by another deep feeling of real loss. My baby will never be an exchange student, and it really hurts to realize what I’ve lost…what she has lost to autism. It rained hard this morning. You can not stop the rain, and you can not stop the feelings of grief and loss when they hit you. But after you feel the loss, you have to keep living. I am very quick to start counting my blessings. I have zero power to gain back what has been taken from me. I could roll here in the mud but it will not give Jessica back her voice. I believe in God, and I believe in a heaven where all my tears will be wiped away. I may never know why my baby girl got sick. That doesn’t matter to me anymore. I don’t need to know. I just need to keep moving forward. I can not park my car at this point of grief and loss. Instead I will keep traveling towards my home, a place where she will be whole. I get into so much trouble when I compare my life to others. I need the grace to love who I am and simply love who she is. She is so beautiful.