Saturday, April 22, 2006
I have been thinking about my last post about Jessica all day. I realize we all have holes we need to work to get out of. For me it is the need to lose weight. I joined weight watchers 4 weeks ago. So far I've lost 12 lbs. I should be really proud of myself, but some how I am discouraged. I don't see the weight I have lost, only how much more weight I want to lose. I have to keep talking to myself, telling myself to keep fighting the good fight. If this was easy, I would have done it years ago. I gained all this weight when I was pregnant with Jessica, and she is 14 1/2 years old!!!
My other daughter, Nicole and I watched a movie last week about the life of William Carey. He traveled to India in 1793 to start a mission. His son died, his wife went crazy and he didn't lead anyone to Christ in the first 6 years. Still he is called the father of modern missions, because he kept trying. Some people joined him after 6 years, and they began to see fruit! Last year, when our family took a trip to Israel, our two daughters, Jessica and Nicole were baptized in the Jordan river by a pastor from India. Even today, there are not many Christians in India,(there are over 24 million Christians, or 2.3% of the population)! They owe their faith to William Carey, a man who never stopped trying to do what He was called to do! I don't know what hole you might need to work yourself out of, for me it is weight, for Jessica it is fear. I think the only answer is to keep up the fight!
This week was Easter vacation. The weather has been pretty good, so my kids have spent a lot of time in the garden. Jessica spent most of the week in her bedroom watching videos, and playing simple games on the computer. Juergen and I wanted to get her out of the house for a whole day. We decided to take a family trip to Europa Park. This is a amusement park on the border of Germany, Switzerland, and France. It is only two hours away from our house. Jessica was not trilled by the crowds of people, and all the noise. Instead of riding roller coasters with my sons, I walked with Jessica looking at all the stores (she loves to shop). She also spent a great deal of time napping in the car. I can not say it was a great time for me! I forgot to bring a book, or writing paper. I'm not sorry we tried! I am afraid Jessica is too inclined to crawl into her dark hole, and never come out. It is our job to force her into the world. I do believe she is much better off with people and not alone. As for me, I've had many days riding roller coasters. I am amazed at all the stuff I have been able to do, and all the stuff I've been able to see even with Jessica. We are considering taking our family to Thailand and China at the end of the summer. We are in the process of adopting a 3 year old girl from China. Juergen and I both need to go there to pick her up. Thailand in on the way, so we may stop there for a family vacation. The greatest issue for us is taking Jessica on the long flight. She hates airplanes. She has been to Thailand two times. She is treated really well there! This would be another way to force her out of her hole!
The picture is of Jessica looking pretty stressed in Israel last May! Part of the trip was really stressful, but mostly it was great!
Monday, April 03, 2006
Last week Jessica did a short internship at a workshop for disabled people. At first she seemed really anxious to go. I often think she is board, and wants to get out and try new things. As the week progressed, she slept worse and worse. I guess it was hard for her to process all these new experiences. Her teacher was with her everyday. She really needs a full time helper. I think all she did was to fold boxes. Not exactly what I had dreamed my first born child would be doing, folding boxes with full time help! I guess I should give more thought to her future. Personally, the thought of planning her future is depressing. I just can not do it. I have found I can only handle things as they come. I am sure when I must have direction, God will give it to me. Today I can handle, and today she is a bit board. For me this is a good sign that she wants to grow. Every little bit of growth is a cause for celebration. Today is good!