Driving Jessica's Taxi: his brother's keeper

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

his brother's keeper

I have people who also ask me what will happen to Jessica when we die or can not care for her any more. I can tell you I just don't know. I know that Nicole has said she will care for Jessica, but who knows if that will be realistic? She will have her own life, her own family. It isn't something I just put off thinking about, but I have no answer. I'm not there and I can not say how things should work out in 20 years. I'm glad we have 4 other children. I hope Jessica will never need to live in an institution. But if that must happen, God will be with her. I will love her and take care of her as long as I am able to. I have not given up hope of a cure. But if Jessica has to live in a care facility, it will not be an easy thing to plan. I'm not there, and I'm not going to stress out worrying about what I can not control. I will simply love my girl where she is at. She is at home. Thank God for now she is home!

1 comment:

Blog Administrator, Karen L. Brahs said...: I was working on my blog and checked my traffic counter to see who had visited today, and found your blog address. Your story touched me deeply. I wanted you to know that your earthly trial brought me to pray for you and your beautiful daughter; for strength, for comfort, for peace.

Over the last almost-two years I have had my blog, the Lord has often left me in awe through those He has brought there. His purpose for doing so is His own. I was fed by your story. I hope you found solace in one of mine.

I will continue to pray for you and your family.; 11:25 PM

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pot holes and pits

There are pot holes and there are pits. To this point I had never really fallen into a pit. I had no idea how to handle what was happening, no idea at all. When you run over a pot hole, it shakes you up a little. Some times the pot hole is so large, it can even cause some car damage. That would require a day or so in the shop. But a pit is different. You fall into a dark hole, and when you get up to inspect for damage, you often fall off the ledge even further down. If fact one of the scariest parts about falling into a pit is being in the dark, and never knowing when and if you have really hit the bottom. When Jessica was 18 months old she had 5 immunization shots in one day. I remember asking the nurse if it was a problem that Jessica was sick, and taking antibiotics for an ear infection. I should have used my best instincts and said "no" not today. But they were the medical professionals. I was just a first time mom. What could go wrong? But with in 4 days things went terribly wrong. It has be wrong for 19 years now. Jessica lost her voice. I thought we would just spend some time in the shop, get the car repaired and be back on our way. Instead of getting on the road, I have had the challenge of learning to live my life inside this hole...and I know now I may never be allowed to recover from that fall.