Driving Jessica's Taxi: Disneyland Paris

Monday, July 30, 2012

Disneyland Paris

We dropped the kids off at camp and drove to Paris. The drive was very nice. The girls were wonderful in the car. Sarah had an I-pod to play with, and Jessica could watch a movie. Juergen and I could talk. It was nice. We walked around the shopping mall next to our hotel. Then we checked in. The hotel was clean and actually nice for the cheap price. I would gladly recommend it to anyone traveling to Paris on a budget. But Jessica would not sleep. Juergen and I were both so frustrated. She would not sleep until 3am. Then she woke up at 8am. So we should have just said no to Disneyland. I should have dropped Juergen and Sarah off at the park, and saved the 15 Euro parking fee, plus the 10 Euro dog kennel fee, and the 60 Euro entrance fee. But we wanted it to work. So we tried. And Jess was awful.

She was just too tired to handle it. So Juergen and I took turns with Sarah in Disneyland and Jessica in the car. And we were angry and disappointed. But I could have driven to Monet’s garden in the North of Paris. I could have chosen a better direction considering Jessica’s condition. I was not very wise. I wanted it to work and I just didn't read the situation with open eyes. But I did get good pictures of Sarah in the park. And Sarah was so wonderful. She loved Disneyland. And Juergen and I both got to share good moments with her there. And Jessica was happy in the car. And the trip home was another very good talk with Juergen. So over all it was worth the trouble. I'm glad we did it. I just need to be willing to adjust my plans if Jessica can not fit into my plans. It would have been better for all of us to not push it. Autism is the pits, and we are just imperfect people trying the best we can to live a normal life. Considering the circumstances, I think we do OK. But it’s pretty hard sometimes. I can not lie, it really can be frustrating. But I love Jessica. And I totally love Juergen because he still made it awesome just be walking the hard road with me. And I never saw Sarah so patient and good before. She reminded me of Nicole. She really was awesome!

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pot holes and pits

There are pot holes and there are pits. To this point I had never really fallen into a pit. I had no idea how to handle what was happening, no idea at all. When you run over a pot hole, it shakes you up a little. Some times the pot hole is so large, it can even cause some car damage. That would require a day or so in the shop. But a pit is different. You fall into a dark hole, and when you get up to inspect for damage, you often fall off the ledge even further down. If fact one of the scariest parts about falling into a pit is being in the dark, and never knowing when and if you have really hit the bottom. When Jessica was 18 months old she had 5 immunization shots in one day. I remember asking the nurse if it was a problem that Jessica was sick, and taking antibiotics for an ear infection. I should have used my best instincts and said "no" not today. But they were the medical professionals. I was just a first time mom. What could go wrong? But with in 4 days things went terribly wrong. It has be wrong for 19 years now. Jessica lost her voice. I thought we would just spend some time in the shop, get the car repaired and be back on our way. Instead of getting on the road, I have had the challenge of learning to live my life inside this hole...and I know now I may never be allowed to recover from that fall.