Thursday, July 05, 2007

The fall into the pit

There are pot holes and there are pits. To this point I had never really fallen into a pit. I had no idea how to handle what was happening, no idea at all. When you run over a pot hole, it shakes you up a little. Some times the pot hole is so large, it can even cause some car damage. That would require a day or so in the shop. But a pit is different. You fall into a dark hole, and when you get up to inspect for damage, you often fall off the ledge even further down. If fact one of the scariest parts about falling into a pit is being in the dark, and never knowing when and if you have really hit the bottom. When Jessica was 18 months old she had 5 immunization shots in one day. I remember asking the nurse if it was a problem that Jessica was sick, and taking antibiotics for an ear infection. I should have used my best instincts and said "no" not today. But they were the medical professionals. I was just a first time mom. What could go wrong? But with in 4 days things went terribly wrong. It has be wrong for 14 years now. Jessica lost her voice. I thought we would just spend some time in the shop, get the car repaired and be back on our way. Instead of getting on the road, I have had the challenge of learning to live my life inside this hole...and I know now I may never be allowed to recover from that fall.

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