Driving Jessica's Taxi: Is the bucket half empty or half full?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Is the bucket half empty or half full?

Tonight around 11pm we hear a crash of water coming from Jessica’s bedroom. I'm downstairs getting Jessica her Melatonin, and Juergen is upstairs in our bedroom. We both rush to see what happen. Jessica has fled the scene of the crime. She is in her sister’s room hiding under the covers. In her bedroom we find a bucket of soapy water I had left in the bathroom. It was spilled all over the floor. Thank God it missed the computer power cord. There was also a big jar of olive oil cream spilled on the floor and the couch. We think Jessica tried to put cream on herself. She spilled the cream, and then had the idea to clean up her mess! She left a bigger mess...but the fact she actually tried to clean up really makes us happy! She is slowly getting better.

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pot holes and pits

There are pot holes and there are pits. To this point I had never really fallen into a pit. I had no idea how to handle what was happening, no idea at all. When you run over a pot hole, it shakes you up a little. Some times the pot hole is so large, it can even cause some car damage. That would require a day or so in the shop. But a pit is different. You fall into a dark hole, and when you get up to inspect for damage, you often fall off the ledge even further down. If fact one of the scariest parts about falling into a pit is being in the dark, and never knowing when and if you have really hit the bottom. When Jessica was 18 months old she had 5 immunization shots in one day. I remember asking the nurse if it was a problem that Jessica was sick, and taking antibiotics for an ear infection. I should have used my best instincts and said "no" not today. But they were the medical professionals. I was just a first time mom. What could go wrong? But with in 4 days things went terribly wrong. It has be wrong for 19 years now. Jessica lost her voice. I thought we would just spend some time in the shop, get the car repaired and be back on our way. Instead of getting on the road, I have had the challenge of learning to live my life inside this hole...and I know now I may never be allowed to recover from that fall.

There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from. - - - Josh Billings