Is it really wrong to want healing for Jessica? Should I just accept that this is how it is? Do I need a sign from God? I do believe in God. I don't think I need God to prove himself. I don't think I need a sign. But God is a compassionate God, and Jessica has a real need. She isn't happy being autistic. She wants to be whole. I want her to be whole. Is autism God's will? I don't think it is. I think sickness and disease is a work of the enemy. Should I just accept the enemy robbing Jessica of her voice and any kind of a normal life? I think I should not accept this. I will always love God, no matter what! But should I accept this? No...I will keep asking, seeking, and knocking. God please give me the faith to keep asking.
Today is the 9Th day of my fast for Jessica's healing. Today I feel like "how am I going to feel if it just does not happen"? I feel really sad. Then I need to remind myself that God is good. I do not know if it will happen, but I know 100% that God is good. I am investing in the kingdom of God. God will honor this investment. I don't know if God will heal Jessica, but I know he will receive my prayers and bless me. I will trust God now. I will trust him with the out come.